pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
