and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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