My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize