NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
you inspire me to be a worse person
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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