The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
