great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
