Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
don't judge my taste in strippers
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize