New low: just hacked my moms facebook
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
