if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
