Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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