If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
