bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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