Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
