Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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