I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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