I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
