and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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