I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
