update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
it's like iHOP with fire
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I have aggressive nipples.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
