i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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