I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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