A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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