I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
