Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
