Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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