There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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