the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
