Whod you bang
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
