I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
this just has baby written all over it
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
