I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
