I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
