im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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