can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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