I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
So many bounce houses so little time
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
