Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize