Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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