she was so not down for the gang bang
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
my poor anus
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
