would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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