Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
