I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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