Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
