i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
