Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
