Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
It's rum buckets o'clock
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
