so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
