Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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