I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
