Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
We left the knife in your bed.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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