Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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