thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
