If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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