so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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