Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
