Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
