Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
