Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
