Fuck appropriateness.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize